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    But, if you think about it, aren’t we all in the dating game for “selfish” purposes.

    The ultimate goal is to find someone to call our own, right?

    If they wanted no part of church “stuff,” then she needed to move on. He dated a lot of different girls and then met Diane (not her real name).

    He took her to a stake dance on their second date and on the way home she told him that she had really enjoyed it because she knew Mormons said they didn’t smoke or drink.

    While in the dating stage being a “player” in the game is exactly what you want to be!

    So many members have written in with their personal experiences that we have all the responses we need, so don’t send any more letters on the subject!

    "Hanging out" for so many late-teens and twenty-somethings is the opposite of or the alternative to actual dating. You just find out where people are hanging and you go hang out.

    This can be great for young teens and adolescents who are really not ready to date, but does it really work and does it really make any sense for near-adults and adults? Depending on who and where you are, it can mean anything from "having sex" (another term we hate by the way — with a totally different connotation and meaning than "making love") to just kind of latching onto someone so that you hang out with them a little more exclusively than with others.

    One problem with "hanging out" and "hooking up" is that they don't seem designed to lead anywhere. As the average age of those who marry gets older and older, and the average age of childbearing gets older and older, are we sure we are OK with it?

    The new "traditional wisdom" is that you have to finish college, get some financial independence, maybe have a house …

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